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Funny One Liner Facebook Status Updates

  1. will be here all week. Thank-you. Thank-You Very much!
  2. knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.
  3. wonders... What is the speed of dark?
  4. has too much blood in his caffeine system.
  5. has calculated that half of his Facebook friends are below average.
  6. is being spontaneous... tomorrow.
  7. is joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them.
  8. wants to remind you that it's even worse then you think.
  9. didn't say it was your fault... I'm just blaming you...
  10. is going around telling people that you're really 46