- A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
- Some people who copy and paste jokes from other's status messages are idiots…
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- A teacher ware sunglass in Class A student ask"Sir why? you ware sunglass front of us? He reply:"You People are ver Bright so i ware it""
- What a perfect crime. I stole your heart, and you stole min
- I think Status King should come out with a phone app! click star and arrow up if you agree!
- Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some crap for Farmville.
- I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they mess up I will just hit them all at once.
- First that jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and then his stupid car got paint on my key!
- That akward moment when an Emo kid orders a Happy
- The attractive face you pull just before a sneeze
- Always have a "BACKUP" before "BREAKUP"
- says let's make February 15th OUR valentines day.
- says there is someone for everyone but wasn't really thinking about you.
- says don't worry... it's not contagious.
- says, "you make me feel dead inside"... Happy Valentines Day
- says on this Valentines days... Please don't make me choose between you and porn.
- already killed some helpless flowers for you... what else do you want?
- loves Valentines day, where nookie is only a box of chocolates away.
- wants to remind you that nothing says "I love you" more than somebody else's words mass produced on re-cycled paper.
- says nothing is more romantic than letting you know that I love you... via this Facebook Status update.
- says, Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's Valentines Day, And I have a hangnail.
- Physics would have been much easier if 'Tree' instead of 'Apple' had fallen on Newton's head :)
- ＳＵＵＵＰ ┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐
- If for only 1 day the anwser was YES what would you ask me for???
- A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said "Don't do it man, you will never hear the end of it!"
- had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide
- You can't say it to their face but you can say it to facebook...thanks facebook for opening doors of communication!
- I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof
- just killed a spider for the first time without peeing myself. Thug Life !
- will be back in 15 minutes. If not, kindly read this once again. :P
- ❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔ Pimpin
- If the week was like a music album. i would put my 3 favorite tracks on repeat. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
- My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL."
- After reading this you will realize that you just wasted 6 seconds of your life
- who said nothing is impossible. I have been doing nothing for the past hour
- Life ends when u stop dreaming, hope ends when u stop believing & love ends when u stop caring. So dream hope & love...Makes Life Beautiful
- Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile
- A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said "Don't do it man, you will never hear the end of it!"
- Everything happens for a reason, the hard part is finding the reason.
- I called your boyfriend gay & he hit me with his purse.
- Dear Homework, You're Not Attractive and I'm Not Doing You.
- never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else :$ because my Mamaa always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate..
