- can't wait to watch his favourite Christmas movie, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Due To Santa's Urinary Tract Infection"
- is looking forward to the new Christmas special, "A Creepy, Creepy Christmas with Michael Jackson"
- may not be the real Santa, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen you while you're sleeping.
- is chugging NyQuil until sugar plums really are dancing in my head
- is making "fruitcakes" out of stuff I find under my sofa cushions.
- is eating her weight in figgy pudding
- is inviting you to tickle her Elmo.
- hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
- is still trying to figure out what "police nabbed my dad" has to do with Christmas.
- wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
